The Soundtrack to Your Life Survey

Make a soundtrack for your life, matching songs with the following:

Opening song (Theme Song): "Badfish" Sublime

Waking up:  "Slippin' Into Darkness" 2pac

First kiss: "Rich Girl" Gwen Stefani

Falling in love:  "Your Love Has Got Me Trippin, Baby" Acid Flash

Heartbreak: "Lookin' At You" Ciara

Driving fast:  "After Dark" Blue Oyster Cult

Getting ready to go out:  "Chica Mi Tipo" Sublime

Partying with friends:  "Act A Ass" E40

Dancing at a club:  "Chicken Hawk II" Mack 10

Flirting:  "Lonesome Organist Rapes Page Turner" Amanda Palmer

Feeling good:  "Do You Like The Way" Santana feat. Lauryn Hill

Walking alone in the rain:  "Paddle Out" Sublime

Missing someone: "Divine Intervention" Taking Back Sunday

Playing in the ocean:  "Nothing to Fear (But Fear Itself)" Oingo Boingo

Summertime: "St Louie" Nelly

Fighting with someone:  "Be Free" Black Eyed Peas

Instrospection:  "Woe" Say Anything

Feeling depressed:  "Drift" Vermillion Lies

Feeling Betrayed:  "The Warning" NIN

Getting Cheated On: "First Orgasm" The Dresden Dolls

Falling asleep:  "Our Lady of Sorrows-live" My Chemical Romance

Love of your life: "Suspicion (She Knows Me Too Well)" Van Hunt

Quiet moments: "Say You Want It All" Amel Larrieux

Nostalgia: "Dancing Through Sunday" AFI

Closing song: "Long Red Hair" Vermillion Lies

Put your iTunes on shuffle or whatever and record the results. Don't cheat!

 
What do people assume when they first look at me?
Song: What To Do
Artist: Kelli Ali
Comment: people generally don't know what to do about me
 
What will be a big challenge in life for me?
Song: If I Fell
Artist: The Beatles
Comment: would i be able to get up without the help of life alert?
 
Am I a good boyfriend/girlfriend?
Song: Forever Mine
Artist: The O'jays
Comment: hahahha right
 
How will I die?
Song: The Ballad of Johnny Butt
Artist: Sublime
Comment: "johnny butt was a man with a real strong will to survive, he just kept pushing on even tho he was barely alive so shoot it up, shoot it up, it just don't matter. johnny says he wants to go do it says he wants to kill a cop" --hmmm...so either imma shoot up and OD or imma die tryn to pull a 187 on a muthafuckin cop LOL
 
Is someone trying to kill me?
Song: Bad Sects
Artist: Cursive
Comment: bad sex is trying to kill me O_O

What should I do instead of this quiz?
Song: Glamorous Life
Artist: Sheila E
Comment: amen

What is a bad habit that I should try to stop?
Song: Kingdom of Doom
Artist: The Good, The Bad and the Queen
Comment: mmm hmm
 
What's for dinner tonight?
Song: Feeling Good
Artist: MUSE
Comment: oh yes, matthew is on the menu tonight and i'm feelin good
 
How does the world see me?
Song: Baby Baby Baby
Artist: TLC
Comment: im a baby
 
Will I have a happy life?
Song: Start the Fire
Artist: No Doubt
Comment: i'm guessing no...
 
What do my friends really think of me?
Song: Because of You
Artist: The Cover Girls
Comment: makes no sense..
 
Do people secretly lust after me?
Song: Cocaine (We're All Going to Hell)
Artist: Strata
Comment: im like a drug and you are all goin to hell
 
How can I make myself happy?
Song: Magic Medicine
Artist: Incubus
Comment: A-fuckin-MEN! can i get a witness!!
 
What should I do with my life?
Song:Glass of Water
Artist: Coldplay
Comment: apparently im gay now cuz i listen to coldplay
 
Why is life full of so much pain?
Song: My Doorbell -white stripes cover
Artist: Dresden Dolls
Comment: seriously people, go away
 
How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Song: Pawn Dub
Artist: Sublime
Comment: k
 
Will I ever have children?
Song: Arizona
Artist: Mark Lindsay
Comment: haha HELL YEA! i thought that one wasnt gonna work but--LYNZAY!!! yes. i will have her babies.
 
Will I die happy?
Song: This Was All A Bad Idea
Artist: Zolof
Comment: isnt zoloft an anti depression drug?....and i guess it was a bad idea, so...
 
What is some good advice for me?
Song: Their System Doesn't Work For You
Artist: Anti-Flag
Comment: it's true
 
What is happiness?
Song: Bad Lands
Artist: The Grouch and Zion I
Comment: local slanguage for the city of oakland so...my hometown?
 
What is my favourite fetish?
Song: Southside
Artist: Scarface
Comment: ?

How will I be remembered?
Song: Desert Song
Artist: My Chemical Romance
Comment: aww.
 
How do I get more sex?
Song: Lunacy Fringe
Artist: The Used
Comment: love will burn a hole right thru my eye.

Love was so strong
At least in the beginning
Who would've thought
There'd ever be an ending
We had it all
But it's like we've run into a wall

Now we try to talk
but just end up fighting
Try making up
but there's just no denying
Just ain't the same no more
What are we putting ourselves through all this for?

You talk and hear me
but you can't communicate
Cause you're not listening
know these are two different things
Now I see what it means to have been
blinded by the one you love so deeply
cause,

The very things that made me love you
Are the things pushing me away (now)
In tears we stand here with
nothing left to say

And all I could do for you
I should've done before (now)
In tears we stand here
There's nothing left to say

You touched my heart
and were so giving
Spirit so free
You drew me in and
I fell so deep
I could not see my life without you in it

(Boy) you gave me
A lot of attention
Somehow the feeling turned
into crazy possessive
It was always there
But I didn't look deeper
If I would've I'da seen the limits

Oh You talk and hear me
but you can't communicate
Cause you're not listening
know these are two different things
Now I see what it means to have been
blinded by the one you love so deeply

I had my pride
and you had your pain
So deep inside you
wanted to have your say
Irritated, frustrated and hurt
Baby this is so confusing
Cause I thought this was the real thing for sure

The very things that made me love you
Are the things pushing me away (now)
In tears we stand here with
Nothing left to say

All I could do for you
I should've done before (now)
In tears we stand here
There's nothing left to say


I wish I had my word
to try and encourage
us to find a way
cause there's nothing left to say


The very things that made me love you
Are the things pushing me away (now)
In tears we stand here
with nothing left to say

And all I could do for you
I should've done before (now)
In tears we stand here
There's nothing left to say

Baby, there's nothing left to say

starting now. -by ingrid michaelson

i want to crawl back inside my mother's womb
i want to shut out all the lights in this room
i want to start fresh, like a baby in a sink
scrub away all these thoughts that i think
of you...

so life moves slowly, when you're waiting for it to boil
feel like i watch from 6 feet under the soil
still want to hold you, and kiss behind your ears
but i recount the countless tears that i lost
for you...

before you finally go (before you go)
there's one thing you should know:
that i promise-

starting now
i'll never know your name
starting now
i'll never feel the same
starting now
i wish you never came
into my world

i want to crawl back, inside my bed of sin
i want to burn the sheets that smell like your skin
instead i'll wash them, just like kitchen rags with stains
spinning away any piece that remains
of you...

but before you finally go (before you go)
there's one thing you should know:
that i promise-

starting now
i'll never know your name
starting now
i'll never feel the same
starting now
i wish you never came
into my world

it's my world, it's not ours anymore (it's my world)
it's my world, it's not ours anymore (i mean this)

starting now
i'll never know your name
starting now
i'll never feel the same
starting now

it's my world
i wish you never came
into my world
starting now
into my world
starting now
into my world
starting now.

when i'm drunk, i'm confident. so i drink. same with the drugs only i can't afford those so often anymore. my body is in hell. when i die my soul will follow. why am i such a dumbass? i'm only smart enough to know that i should be smarter than this.

Astronaut

is it enough to have some love
small enough to slip inside a book
small enough to cover with your hand
because everyone around you wants to look

is it enough to have some love
small enough to fit inside the cracks
the pieces don’t fit together so good
with all the breaking and all the gluing back

and i am still not getting what i want
i want to touch the back of your right arm
i wish you could remind me who i was
because every day i’m a little further off

but you are, my love, the astronaut
flying in the face of science
i will gladly stay an afterthought
just bring back some nice reminders

and is it getting harder to pretend
that life goes on without you in the wake
and can you see the means without the end
in the random frantic action that we take

and is it getting easy not to care
despite the many rings around your name
it isn’t funny and it isn’t fair
you’ve traveled all this way and it’s the same

but you are, my love, the astronaut
flying in the face of science
i will gladly stay an afterthought
just bring back some nice reminders

i would tell them anything to see you split the evening
but as you see i do not have an awful lot to tell
everybody’s sick for something that they can find fascinating
everyone but you
and even you aren’t feeling well

but you are, my love, the astronaut
flying in the face of science
i will gladly stay an afterthought

but you are, my love, the astronaut
flying in the face of science
i will gladly stay an afterthought
just bring back some nice reminders

Yes you are, my love, the astronaut
crashing in the name of science
just my luck they sent your upper half
it’s a very nice reminder
it’s a very nice reminder

...and you may be acquainted with the night
but i have seen the darkness in the day
and you must know it is a terrifying sight
because you and i are living the same way

soberness sucks.

i'm growing increasingly weary of
justifying your intentions
you're bleeding me dry
infiltrating my head with maybes and so whats...
we can still try

it's all i can tolerate
and you take too much out of me
you're wearing out my high
and my heart, it sees red

and i blame myself
for letting you control me
for wanting you to hold me

alternating lust and love
exchanging sex for patience
it's more than i have to give
there’s no time left to wait for wanting nothing more than something worth waiting for
it's more than i bargained for

infinity is nonexistent
we're drawing out our time
dealing out the poison
that cursed the twisted lives we lead
intertwined in
a web further entangled to trap
all of me. all for you.
all of you
so persuasive that we've even misled ourselves
and we're drawing out our time

"i've lost my fear of falling"

So if you can't top it, steal from them and go out strong."

i've been at a loss for words and the ability to complete functional sentences lately. so i let lyrics and songs speak and sing for me.

Spay Me

I fucked someone with words, broke a promise
You forgave but you won't forget
I pray the day will come, when you see I was numb 'til you burned me with your cigarette
But each fight leaves my vocal chords shattered
I sing with my gums spiked with glass
I pray and I beg like a dog, hump your leg 'til you spay my sorry, broke ass

Singin': Why do you, always have to
push me far away from you? All I want is to stay with you
So naive, each time you leave
I always still believe in you
Know that I'm holding you down
Now you're out on the town
The courage you found..found..found
is spitting in spite of me
Leaving me dead on the ground

Cater to me or I'll punch myself until my face is blue

Later you'll be just as sorry as me for the things you do

If I'm an arrogant prick
Shittin' out heart attacks
Then you're the queen of the damned: feelingless, devoid of tact
Hey I'm the crazy one here!
I'm dying of a deep regret
But I can't stand these nights I've spent
alone, awake, begging
Tearing my face apart like cheap leggings
I'm sorry my love, I'm gone
You keep eggin' this on
I'm gone, I'm gone, I'm gone

[Pack my shit up and go, I'm getting wasted]
What did I just do...
[Pack my shit up and go, I'm gonna face this]
What did I just do...]
[Pack my shit up and go, I'm getting wasted]
What did I just do...
[Pack my shit up and go, I'm gonna face this]
What did I just do....


Most Beautiful Plague

Baby!
You don't wanna make me cry
Or I will fill you with the emptiness inside

Okay! Alright!

Baby!
You don't wanna say goodbye
Or I will soak you in this rich formaldehyde

Cause you're beautiful tonight
and the stars are burning bright
And I give this curse to you
Like there's nothing else to do

So let the purple sky explode
Let it shower us with toads
Let the scarlet river flood
So it can drown us all in blood

I just hope you don't
hope you don't

It's funny.
How crazy that you make me feel sometimes
I'm so broken
I can barely even rhyme

Okay! Alright!

Honey!
It's crazy that you take up all my time
Got me sippin' on a gross amount of wine

But you're beautiful tonight
and the stars are burning bright
And i give this curse to you
Like there's nothing else to you

So let the purple sky explode
Let it shower us with toads
Let the scarlet river flood
Let it can drown us all in blood

Tonight, I guess, I'm human
So thank you for fighting
And havin' sex with me

Oh!

both. i fell out earlier and now i can't get back to sleep...so...
bored...
what...to write...about...
Oh, Sara Bareilles was nothing short of A-mazing. I knew the girl could sing but her studio recordings do her talents no justice. Her voice live is mind-blowing and heartwarming. So beautiful. I do love her lol My words fail me. I'm horrible at describing or even recalling things so I could never write a proper review. Which pretty much sucks because I would so love to step up as *airquotes* VP and be able to actually contribute to Bellatrixx's webzine...[insert shameless plug here: Sound-Is-Noise.net check it out if you are so inclined. i do not remember how to do the whole clickity linky thing so i'll probably edit that tomorrow...] As I think I was about to say, the concert was filled at the legendary Fillmore. Since I never remember shit, I can't wait for that dvd's release for so I may relive the night all over again and hopefully NOT see myself on video lol
I bought a Sara shirt with the words LOVE SONG scratched out on the front..heh...ain't that perfect? *rolls eyes* if only...
I wanted the one that said somethin' like, "Hi, my name is Sara and I love you but I'm not gonna write a song about it." hahaha, but it was pink..meh..
i am very sad for i just discovered that i broked my favorite piece of ear decoration. yes, i cry over fake jewelry. i'm just not a diamonds and pearls kinda girl. not to say that i don't enjoy having massive amounts of moneys spent on me. i am a bit of a sentimental gold digger but i prefer quantity over quality. more bang for your buck...lol no i don't....and wtf am i talking about?? i think i'm falling asleep again. good night, computer.

I’m gettin’ faded with Bradley on my side
Expressing emotions that I wish to no longer hide
He fills my ears with musicality
That soothes my mind of self-imposed insanity
From his voice I may borrow his sweet sweet soul
Momentarily rectifying a soul left unwhole
The cd ends, as does my reverie
And I'm forced to press rewind for another chance to be
Something other than what I’ve made of myself on this earth
Another high I must indulge to get by, for what it’s worth
I take in another hit, a line, a shot to remedy all that is wrong
It won’t be long till it’s gone,
But life is Sublime in his song.

Yakkin’ up word vomit on a blank page.
Makin' a mess of the truth. The thing about gettin' faded is you disregard “Regret” even though He lingers in the back of your mind and threatens to be your wake-up call the next day. But nothing matters when you’re high. I guess that’s the beauty of it.
I need to let go before I lose everything.


Reasons to get up in the morning:
-cereal cocktails in my favorite disney bowl/mug
-being one day closer to this wretched season being over
-i can’t think of anything else at the mo’..

Reasons to go back to sleep:
-because it eliminates the tendency to “medicate this rage” lol
-because its easier to dream than to live.


*to the tune of It’s a Metaphor, Fool by Say Anything, “All you are to me is dead skiiin, flaking off my hands ontooo the pavement!”*--
All you are to me is eraser dussst, blowin off the paper ontoooo the carpet!
Hahahaha. Thru all this I can still make myself laugh at the stupidest shit. I’m such a dork.

You're so precious.

I should lock you away
in a keepsake box
and only take you out to play

On vicarious occasion

But I carry you in my pocket
'Cuz I just can't resist
Wasting away

Stolen moments with you

The price will be paid
I'm broken but happy
with my hopeful mistake

And a hand full of candy

Leading the way
Copping thrills off the streets
Indulging on sweets

Beating my heart

Racing thru weeks
Markin’ off months
’Til the warranty expires

Seasons will change

Leaving nothing but a bitter
taste in my mouth
Past your expiration date

Rotting away

And I'll bury you deep
discard of the key
lock away your memory

In a box I won't keep.

I won’t be great. But I’ll get better.
I wanna be better. Because of you.
Because of ALL OF YOU.
I still love you all. Despite my hatred
for my own disgraceful life.
my sins are none. my sins are fun. my sins have won.
Forgive me
for not being a better
Friend, daughter, aunt, cousin, sister, lover
liar
You see right thru me. But I’ll continue lying to make you feel better.
To spare you my pain.
To spare you my shame.
I hope it’s working.
I’ll sing you a song if you tell me I can.

( “The most that I can do for you is keep on lyin’.” – The Used, Let it Bleed )

To Bellatrixx: a poem inspired by the photograph of your Limited Edition TBPID ( box set. ) XD!

The Black Pigeon Is Dead
I'm gonna build a birdhouse out of my MCR coffin
and sprinkle styrofoam outside of it
like little plastic sandwiches
to feed the birds
because *betz* hates birds
and then i'll put the dead bird inside the birdhouse
and it will be a coffin again x_X

Certificate of Death
Date: July 2, 2008
Deceased: bird
Location: outside of the birdhouse
Cause of Death: overexposure to plastic sandwiches
Date of Birth: unknown
Descendant: egg
Witness(s): mikeyway's fugly ass mask

The End.



P.S. all i have to say is THANK BOB. sweet relief.
happy happy, joy joy
sorry Mikey, but you put about as much effort into designing this as i did writing The Black Pigeon XDD